A Year Since. . .
I can’t believe it’s been a year, another year gone! I think and hear this comment at birthdays, after a memorable vacation, after the passing of a loved one, at the end of each school year and every single Christmas. But this year when February came, normally February isn’t eventful, it was a milestone for me. I really couldn’t believe it had been a whole year! A whole year since what, you ask? Last February I had to have surgery. ACDF, or anterior cervical discectomy and fusion, was the dreaded surgery. In easy terms, I had to have a three level spine fusion and disc removal in my neck.
I know this surgery happens every day, but for me it was a life changing experience. After a car accident as a teenager, I experienced a whiplash injury, and have suffered off and on neck pain since. But, I never let it hold me back. One day at the end of December of 2016 I noticed my hand was going numb and then began to experience extreme burning pain in my arm. The pain became quite unbearable and my arm felt like a dead log. Weird, I know! An MRI showed severe central canal stenosis, narrowing of the spinal canal, from bone spurs, probably caused from my long ago whiplash injury, as well as a herniated disc causing my arm pain and numbness. I was given the option to have surgery (not cool) or live with an extremely high chance of experiencing a spinal cord injury as well as continuing pain (even more uncool).
Surgery
Surgery was scheduled for February. I was told I would have a metal plate placed in my neck spanning four vertebral bodies, the bone spurs would be removed, and three discs would be replaced with metal spacers. Finally, I had to live with the knowledge that my life would never be the same.
This surgery symbolized growing old and giving up my youth and healthy body. Having no more pain was my dream result for surgery, but not a guarantee. Following surgery I knew I would have to stop running for months with again no guarantee that I would be able to resume. I wasn’t ready to stop being active or being able to care for my family. Living in fear of re-injury or returning pain or possible side effects from surgery was my new reality. Ahhhh!
But, I am happy to say, the surgery went well and I survived. Recovery wasn’t easy and my vocal cord on one side was damaged making it very difficult to swallow and speak for many months following surgery and somewhat still. But I could walk and I could move my arms and legs and I could move my neck and my arm didn’t hurt. Amazing!
Reminiscing
Not a day goes by that I don’t think of that surgery! I see my scar as I get dressed each morning. I thought I would hate it, but it is now a familiar reminder of how lucky I am. Every night when I go to sleep I remember that surgery as I lay on my special pillow that keeps my neck aligned and prevents pain. I remember each time I try to turn my head and it only goes half way before just stopping. When I speak and my voice comes out something raspy like a smoker’s voice, by the way I’m not a smoker ha ha, I remember! And when I get my monthly bill in the mail, yes even with insurance, I remember.
Feeling Thankful
And what I remember is to be thankful for every one of those days. I realize that each opportunity is one more than I may not have had. I am grateful to be able to speak, that I can run (not very fast yet, but maybe again, I hope), that I have an amazing job and am able to work and pay my bills, and mostly I am thankful that I can still be a wife and mother.
And that is why I can’t believe another year has come and gone since my surgery! What event are you tracking with each passing year? And what are you learning?
