So, I totally blew it with Santa this year. It wasn’t intentional… it just sort of happened. And I actually cried as I tried to fix it with my ten year old. I should probably preface this by saying I have super sweet children. And they trust me. Or they did until this mess with Santa happened.
What do you do when your kids are getting older and still believe in the magic of Christmas and you know it’s only a matter of time before something happens at school and they come home devastated or embarrassed because of a conversation about the man in the red suit? It’s one of my biggest fears. And so far I’m the only one who has totally blown it in the Santa department at our house. Good or bad- I can’t decide. I’m going to fill you in on my Santa faux pas. My stories are worse than yours, I promise. And if you think yours is worse, will you let me know? Because I’m feeling like a loser mom in the magical world of Christmas right now.
Story #1- one year ago
The Tooth Fairy was late. Like two weeks late. Honestly, what kind of mother forgets for two weeks? Me. I do, apparently. My daughter came home from school and casually mentioned that the Tooth Fairy hadn’t come around for way too many days. I decided that it was time to tell her. I thought I was doing a pretty good job until one of my older children came in the door and saw we were having a “serious” discussion. Quietly, I mentioned that we were discussing the Tooth Fairy. And this older child, who I am sure had the best of intentions (insert an eyeroll here), pronounced to the younger child, “The Tooth Fairy is not real!” And that was that. Or so I thought. This sweet younger child then said in a loud voice, “I can’t believe this! The next thing I know you’re going to tell me Santa isn’t real!”
What is a mom supposed to do? A good mom would have sat down and gently had a discussion about the magic of Christmas and the feelings of goodwill that “Santa” can evoke. A good mom would have talked about the fun of surprises and keeping the spirit alive. That is what a good mom would have done. Sometimes I am not a good mom. Not on purpose… it just works out that way. And this was not a good mom moment. My mouth fell open. I tried hard not to laugh at the severe misfortune of the whole situation. And I looked at the older child who was still standing in the kitchen and said, “I need to go get the other kids from school!” And I left with my hand over my mouth. I LEFT. Yep. That is what I did. And that older child was left with the task of having the Santa discussion because her mom ran away. Don’t feel too bad for her- she had no problems with it.
TOTAL MOM FAIL.
Story #2- two weeks ago
Christmas season moved in quickly this year. The minute we start getting decorations out is the minute my kids start getting super Christmas excited. And every year for as long as the thing has been around, my kids have begged for an Elf on the Shelf. Now… I hate the Elf on the Shelf. Like a lot. I just cannot get behind the idea. I am exhausted by the time my kids are in bed and I do not want to stay up later to make a mess or create an elf display just so that we can clean it all up and start over again the next evening. My nerves cannot handle it. And I already feel bad about keeping up the appearance of the Tooth Fairy and Santa. The Elf on the Shelf is just one more thing that my kids will eventually have to learn is not real. And that stinks. Well, lucky for my kids they have super nice teachers who indulge them and have an Elf on the Shelf in their classrooms at school. And my kids love that. Until their mom ruins it for them.
My daughter came asking for an elf, as she usually does. And in my mind she already knew that the Elf was not a real magical being. So I spouted a bunch of mom stuff about the elf, such as “I just can’t do it. I just can’t make a mess to clean up a mess the next morning.” And I am sure she didn’t quite understand because her response was, “We’ll clean it up everyday!” To which I said, “Yes, but I’m still the one who has to make the mess every night.” And then she got a tear in her eye and I watched it spill over and down her cheek and she said, “You mean the Elf on the Shelf isn’t real?” Yeah. I did that. I ruined it for her. And being as smart as she is, she immediately went a step further and said, “Does that mean Santa isn’t real either?” Break a mom’s heart, right?
So what does a mom do this time? I called for backup, of course. I got both my older daughters and we had a “we know about Santa” meeting in my room. And I cried as I read that silly Pinterest letter about how Santa isn’t just one person, but people all over who help in the task of spreading the Christmas spirit to everyone. Now she just got to be a part of it. And then I had my other kids tell her about their lousy Santa experiences to make her feel better about her own.
TOTAL MOM FAIL.
So what to do about Santa now?
Once our kids know about Santa we let them be a part of the secret so they don’t ruin it for everyone else. They each get to pick out a stocking stuffer for the other kids so they can feel like they were a part of it. And then they get to watch the excitement and joy on the kids’ faces as they dump their stocking. We’ve also told our kids that the minute they ruin the magic of Santa for someone else is the minute Santa no longer visits them. So whether they know the truth or not, they must still believe in order for Santa to fill their stocking and bring them a gift.
Here’s what I really think about my kids knowing the truth about Santa: I have loved the years of wonder and excitement that we have been able to experience. We have had so many fun Christmas mornings and I will always cherish them. I hope my kids will look back at their childhood and remember that their parents tried hard to make Christmas morning magical and memorable. We have been truly blessed to be able to create those moments for them. I know we’ve had a couple painful realizations, compliments of your truly. The way they found out may not have been picture perfect, but it was time! How lucky I am to have such trusting and carefree children that they were able to experience so many magical Christmas mornings. Not all kids get to have that.
In all honesty though, I am grateful when my kids find out. It is something I no longer feel I am hiding from them, which I hate. And it means we get to focus on the real importance of the holiday, which is the birth of Jesus Christ. If we take Santa out of the holiday it brings a greater understanding of giving, selfless acts of service and sacrifice. I want my family to be focused on those things this time of year. I want our Christmas gift lists to take a backseat to our Christmas giving lists. And the money we spend on Santa stuff? I want to take it and share it with others who still need the spirit of Santa in their homes. I want my kids to remember the experiences we share, not the stuff we bought.
For now we are still a Santa believing home. We have one more who still needs the magic to continue on and that is OK! I look forward to Christmas morning when my girls can watch his excitement as he enters our living room. He is our reason for keeping the spirit of Santa alive this year. And I’m happy about that. 🙂
