I am going to be brutally honest with you- I really don’t like Valentine’s Day. I just don’t. It’s not in the, “I’m always disappointed in the day so I choose to hate it” kind of way, though. I was never jilted by a boyfriend on Valentine’s Day. I have never felt let down or sad or upset that the day didn’t go as I had wanted. I’m not even jealous of women whose husbands or boyfriends are “so romantic” and plan out the day to perfection just for them.
I’m just that weird, non-sentimental girl who doesn’t need flowers and candy or jewelry and an expensive dinner to have love validated in my life. I don’t want Hallmark to tell my husband that he needs to tell me he loves me. And really, I don’t want to go out to dinner with hundreds of other people who are waiting for me to eat quickly and vacate my seat so they can have it. I don’t need a vase of roses to show he cares. Just hand me the cash and I’ll buy something I really want… like tulip bulbs that I can plant in my yard and appreciate longer than a week. And please, please don’t buy me jewelry. I have a hard enough time remembering my wedding ring.
Now, there’s no hard feelings to those of you who love it. I’ve got nothing against you and I’m happy if you’re happy. Props to you for having that romantic side in your life. It’s just not for me.
I actually think it took my husband several years before he believed that I really didn’t care. Can you imagine a new husband whose wife said, “Don’t get me anything, I really don’t care about this holiday,” only to realize that she really did care and he had done nothing? It would be terrible! And it would be my guess that it happens a lot. No one wants to end up in that situation. Ugh. Luckily that is not the case here. My husband and I are now in official agreement and we don’t even have to discuss it. Thank goodness!
A few years ago I had the thought that just because I wasn’t in to Valentine’s Day didn’t mean it was fair of me to let my ideas rub off on my kids. I didn’t want them to not like it just because I didn’t like it. So I started planning a family Valentine’s Day celebration. And it has actually become a fun tradition! It’s one my kids look forward to every year and I look forward to it because I know they do.
It started out pretty small, actually. The first year I blew up balloons after they went to bed and hung them from their doorways so they would have to walk through them when they woke up. I had also found these cute fleece blankets and heart pillows that they each got. The second year I heart attacked their doors while they were asleep and had their favorite treats in the hall. Year three was nuts. I’m still trying to decide how I got away with it. I bought a small helium tank from WalMart and filled enough balloons to completely fill the hallway so when they woke up they could barely see. It may be my favorite year. The fourth year I made paper chains with strips of paper I had shaped like hearts and hung them from their doorways. They each got a new book, as well. Last year they each got their favorite candy attached to a $10 bill… yeah, I got lazy. I haven’t decided what this year’s treat will be.
Along with the fun waking up surprises, we also have a fancy Valentine’s dinner. We pull out the china that we never use and eat steak and mashed potatoes because it is everyone’s favorite (and is apparently tradition now). We light candles, use cloth napkins and drink sparkling cider out of crystal goblets. And we always have chocolate covered strawberries for dessert. It’s a night that is just for the six of us and I have come to appreciate it very much.
Here are my suggestions for making Valentine’s Day a family affair:
- Keep it simple. Traditions are something to look forward to, not something to dread. Don’t get in over your head!
- It’s not about the pricetag, it’s about the time. Spend the evening TOGETHER doing whatever your family loves to do.
- Involving everyone will make it more meaningful. Not only is it less work when everyone plays a part, but it also makes it something everyone felt they had a hand in. That’s what being a family is about!
- Be consistent. It’s only a tradition if you keep it up! Put it in your calendar and make it a priority every year. After a couple years, it will become something that everyone anticipates. And that is how traditions happen!
I sometimes wonder what will become of our tradition when our kids are grown and are no longer around to celebrate with us. I don’t foresee my opinion on Valentine’s Day changing- I still won’t care about the actual holiday. But I know I will miss what has become a family holiday at our house. I hope my kids will look back and remember with happiness those Valentine’s Days as they were growing up. I hope they will love and appreciate the day because of the memories we made. And that, my friends, is all that matters in the end. 🙂
